


Father Copia

by PopiaSimp



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Copia adopts reader, Copia is also a vampire but that's only briefly mentioned, Dad Copia, Gen, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Reader, Transition FTM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29372259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PopiaSimp/pseuds/PopiaSimp
Summary: Trans man Cardinal Copia notices something about a newer Brother of Sin that seem to remind him of himself. And he can't help but step in to help save another man from going through what he did, as a young man. What he doesn't realize, is that you need someone to lean on as much as he needs someone to help.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 20





	1. In a Bind

**Author's Note:**

> Trans Copia helps young reader transition
> 
> So I’m super not great at writing fanfics anymore but I owe it to my people to get more trans copia out there and by golly I’m gonna. If you have anything negative to say, keep it to yourself! uwu
> 
> Brief CW beforehand! There’s some mentions of unsafe binding, transphobic family, being disowned and a slur right off the bat, but it’s all uphill from there!! (sidenote that i do not know a god damn thing about religious things so if i’m off on my terms or anything don’t come at me i’m just an athiestic satanist who never paid attention to all that jazz)

You had joined the church the moment you turned 18, which wasn’t the only thing that had gotten you disowned. You had a hard enough time getting your parents to keep a roof over your head when you came out years earlier. They didn’t understand, and they never would. But once you joined a ‘satan worshiping cult of cocksucking tranny demons’... they were quicker to throw you out than they had tried to be previously. But that only made things easier; you got to move into the abbey and be with likeminded people.

The form you had filled out when you got there was very detailed, although you noticed that the date the forms were made was printed at the bottom, and it was recent… from what you knew of the Ghost project, and the church, it seemed these were made after Cardinal Copia took charge of things. It had a lot of gender and sexuality markers, and you even got to choose whether you wanted to wear habits, or cassocks, of which you hastily picked the latter. The only real difference you saw was a headdress versus a zucchetto, besides the… obvious tailoring to try and show off the figures of the Sisters of Sin. 

The thought of putting one of those on makes you queasy, even now as you’re rather hastily attempting to put on the absolutely-not-safe binder you’d brought with you. You knew it was gonna do something awful to your ribcage anyways, but what was a cracked rib or two to not have the god damn flesh balloons surface under your cassock? You finally managed to get everything under wraps (ha.) and dressed, off to fulfill your morning chores. Today, your first job was sweeping up around the gardens in the back of the abbey.

You’d seen a few lower Ghouls and Siblings of Sin tending to the flowers and bushes as you swept, but you mainly kept your eyes down unless someone walked by. As you swept the patio around one of Papa Emeritus I’s prized rose bushes, you hear a _snip snip snip_ and your eyes fly up to the plant.

Cardinal Copia meets your gaze with two toned eyes, a rose in one hand, and pruning shears in the other. There’s a moment of silence between you two before he says “Buongiorno, fratello.” You pause, having started trying to learn Italian to understand what the hell the Papas and Cardinal were saying half the time, and realize he’s waiting for you to answer him.

“I’m sorry! Good morning, Cardinal.” you say, dipping down in a slight bow. “Are you… supposed to be cutting roses off Primo’s bushes?”

The Cardinal chuckles softly, moving to stand up as he walks around the impressive rose bush. “I admit, I am not. Not while they look this stunning, at least… but I am not the one, of the two of us, who is doing the worst for themself.” 

You cock an eyebrow at his words, wondering what the fuck you’d done, _especially_ if it was something the Cardinal knew about. Your eyes are locked to him as he lifts the rose to his face, inhaling its aroma deeply before he looks over you. You swear you can _feel_ his gaze rake over your form before he sighs through his nose.

“It does not take an expert to see that you are hiding your chest unsafely, caro. You do not own a… oh, what are they called…” He trails off, the hand holding the pruning shears coming up to use them to _scratch at his temple-- what the fuck are you DOING?_

“....a binder?” you finish, and his eyes light up in realization.

“Si, si… it has been many years since I have had to think of one of those.” 

_What?_ You don’t get more than a second to think about that before he speaks again.

“At the very least, tell me you’re taking breaks and stretching yourself out. We cannot do much for you if you break your ribs in an attempt to feel comfortable in your body.” His eyes are locked to you as he stops speaking, waiting for your answer, and all you can think is _how does he know all this? Is he…?_

_No. He can’t be._

“Fratello? I sure hope whatever you’re lost in thought about is more important than your health.” he waves the rose in front of your face, and the sweet scent of it snaps you back to reality.

“I… um…” You want to make it _seem_ like you forgot the question he’d asked you, but the shame filled blush that creeps over your cheeks tells him all he needs to know. You were caught, and you weren’t going to _lie_ to Cardinal fucking Copia.

He lets out a sigh, though it doesn’t sound disappointed… you think. After a moment, he glances to the rose bush and gives it a pat with the hand holding the shears, stating “Another time, thorny friend. I will be back to reap your flowers.”

Copia shoves the shears into-- cassocks have _pockets?_ God damn, this church gets more and more appealing the longer you’re here. You were so lost in staring at the pocket of his cassock that you miss the hand he’d held out to you, but once you realize, you take it and start getting pulled away immediately. He doesn’t tell you where, just wordlessly leading you through the halls of the abbey… up the stairs… is he…?

He bonks into the door of his office, groans softly and lets go of your hand to open the door. Once he’d opened it, he turns and waves you in, and the first thing that you see is a rat skittering across his desk. He chitters to it softly, and wanders over, letting it crawl up into his sleeve. You knew Copia had a thing for rats, but you didn’t think he took them out of his room… it was cute, in a way.

“Easily distractible, hm?” he asks, and it snaps you back for what had to be the fifth time so far. You watch him set the rose on the desk, and look up to his face as soon as the rat peeks its way out of his collar.

“I just… have a lot on my mind.” you reply after a moment, and Copia gestures for you to sit in the chair on the opposite side of his desk. 

“I am all ears, young one. You can speak your mind to me, and anything said will stay between the two of us.” His words earn a small squeak from the rodent in his cassock, and he looks down, murmuring “Three of us. You have my word, not a squeak from either of us.”

You have to laugh at the joke, but then the anxiety hits you. You figure you may as well just be honest with him, since he… seemed to know what he was talking about, had _some_ form of experience in things like this…

After a quiet moment, you clear your throat and sigh, stating “I didn’t have anywhere to go after I started following the beliefs of this church, so I didn’t have enough time to save to get a binder… let alone a safe place to have one mailed. My parents would go through my things after I came out, to make sure I wasn’t… doing anything to ‘ruin my path to heaven’. They thought they could pray it out of me, this is just… one of those compression bandages that you’re _really_ not supposed to use, but…” You trail off, hands coming up to rub at your eyes. Talking about your own issues was something that happened so rarely that it almost always brought you to tears. Copia notices, and digs through a few drawers in his desk before he pulls out a box of tissues. You take one, and try to pull yourself together for a moment as he lets out a hum.

“Well I’d certainly say you’ve ruined their plans for you quite successfully.” he laughs softly, and grins at the smile it brings to your face, even as you try to keep any tears from spilling out. “Listen. I am at the reigns of expenses now, si? You go to the wardrobe ghouls, ask them to measure you for a binder. They know how to do it. If it makes you uncomfortable, they can instruct you through it yourself. You bring those to me, and I will see to it that you can start binding _properly._ ”

You look up to him, and through your disbelief and distress, all you can say is the first thing that comes to your mind. “How do you know all this? H-How do you… know about… trans stuff…?” you question, and for a moment, Copia is silent. He stands, awkwardly so to ensure that he isn’t smooshing the friend in his clothing, and turns to the cabinets that line the bookshelves along the back wall of his office. He digs through one before he finds what he was looking for, and pulls out a folded up… piece of… no.

You watch as Cardinal Copia takes the edges of the fabric and lets it fall, spreading out a worn and old looking _trans flag with his name written on it. Zilio Copia. He’s fucking trans._

He watches your expression the whole time, the grin never leaving his face. Your eyes flick up to meet his, and he chuckles softly, nodding to confirm your thoughts. He folds his flag back up and tucks it back away, and once he had, he has to pull the rat from inside his cassock and murmur “Non mi stai aiutando, piccoletto.” to him, watching the rat crawl up to sit on his shoulder instead. 

“You’re…” you can’t even get the words out. This _has_ to be a dream, there’s… there’s no way.

“I am trans, si. I knew since I was a child, but… I did not have the opportunities and connections then, that I do now. I have only been on testosterone for… nine years?” He knew that would sound far longer to you than it did to him, but he didn’t need to reveal _both_ of his secrets to you in one day. It seems like you were having a hard enough time accepting the first one.

You’re brought to tears again, but this time, it’s from relief, comfort… you had figured the only ones around who would know your struggles would be other Siblings of Sin, maybe a Ghoul, but… not _Cardinal Copia._ He steps around his desk and kind of… sit-leans on the edge of it, watching you work your way through this moment. After a few minutes of crying, he hands you a new tissue, and you look up to meet his gaze.

“I-I’m sorry, I… I just didn’t… expect _you_ of all people..” you stutter out, and he chuckles softly. 

“No one does, honestly. You are not the first I’ve told, and I am planning on coming out to the public soon. Sister Imperator does not see the need, nor the importance. But she will never understand _our_ struggles, eh?”

That alone is enough to bring on the tears again, and you feel Copia’s hand come to rest on your shoulder. You’re not sure how long it takes to pull yourself together, but once you do, you thank him and make your way back to your chores… but not before stopping to do as the Cardinal had asked of you. You have the wardrobe Ghouls write your measurements down, and take it upstairs to slide under his office door.

You didn’t run into the Cardinal all that much after your first meeting, but a few weeks later, you go to leave your dorm, only to find a box sitting outside of your door with a small note on top. You pick it up and find it’s addressed to you, from a company you don’t recognize, but you take it into your dorm, locking the door behind you.

The note reads _“Al mio amico.”_ with a sigil you’ve learned the Cardinal uses to sign off on things he wants kept more secret. You open the box and find a binder inside of it, stripping off your cassock as fast as you physically can. You’d promised Copia you would stop binding the way you had, but you had done it today, which left you to sit there and think of the broken promise you knew he wouldn’t hold against you as you unwound yourself from the bandage.

The moment you see yourself in the mirror with the binder on, you start to sob, sitting there staring at yourself and being _so happy_ with how you look… as you go to take the note and put it somewhere for safe keeping, you notice it was tightly folded in half, and open it up to see what the inside held. 

_“Should you need a true father, simply let me know. I would be proud to help my son become the man he should have been all along.”_

At least crying over _this_ father, was tears of relief, and happiness… you were _absolutely_ going to take him up on that offer, there was no way you could deny that… you needed a father figure who would actually care about you, and if he wanted to call you his son? That was the least you could do to repay him for this.

You had no clue how much he truly had in store for you.


	2. Happy birThday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 - Copia helps you get on T!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CWs: blood and needles cuz you gotta get a blood test before you get hormones! And also another needle mention for when you get your first shot. There’s also a TINY mention of disordered eating at the very beginning, end of the first paragraph!

No one truly had the _right_ to question the Cardinal’s actions, but that didn’t stop everyone around from giving you two weird looks as he seemed to start spending more time with each other, and your sudden shift in mood once he had. They were likely taking things in the wrong direction; Copia had become an adoptive father for you over the last weeks. It’s not like he was spending every second of every day with you, he would just check in on you throughout the day, reminding you to stretch, to take a break from binding, he’d even started reminding you to eat after noticing you had troubles with keeping a typical meal schedule. And don’t let the man get started on how much water you should be drinking. 

You noticed you weren’t the only person that Copia seemed to be helping in the same way, although he kept all the meetings separate. You supposed the less you all knew, the better. But where you were the newest, you were getting the most attention. And that included being called to the Cardinal’s office just before lunch, and you find him hanging over his desk, looking over paperwork. 

“Is it a bad time?” you call, peeking in the doorway. He looks up to you and grins, waving you in as he replies “No, no, entra, figlio mio.”

He’d started calling you _‘my son’_ in Italian, and in general, almost three weeks ago, and he always enjoyed looking at the grin it brought to your face. You scurry into the office, closing the door behind you before you sit down. He gathers up the paperwork and taps it into a neat pile, turning it around to you and handing you a pen. 

He… doesn’t explain, so you look at him blankly, and he jolts a bit, chuckling a bit. “Apologies, figlio, I am a bit scatterbrained today.” he says softly, tapping the stack of papers. “These are some consent forms that the church needs to have on file so I can make, eh… doctor’s appointments, for you.”

You furrow your brows for a moment before you shrug and look down, figuring he was just taking on parental responsibilities for you, even though you were nearing your 19th birthday now… you sign, initial and fill out whatever it requires, until you get three pages in and read the title of the page.

_Testosterone Starter Application._

You look up to Copia, and he’s nothing but smiles, hands resting on his cheeks as he watches you look between the paper and his face. It takes you a moment, he’s learned by now, to say anything after you’ve been shocked, but you eventually say “R-Really?"

“Si!” he replies immediately, taking the two papers you’ve already filled out and setting them off to the side. “Things work a bit differently around here, where you would usually _leave_ to see a doctor, here, they come to us. There is usually one a week, and on the third Wednesday, the gender specialist comes to administer hormones and whatnot.”  
You pause to think of what day it was, and it was… the third Monday of this month. You had to look at his desk calendar to double check, but he nods to you once you look back to him. “T-Two days???” you ask, and he nods once more.

“So long as you get that paper filled out! He will do a blood test first, and ensure you are healthy before you can start! Where I can be listed as your guardian, he will send the prescription and I can help you take your shots, or whatever form of taking it you choose.” he explains, watching you bury your face back into the paper and shakily fill out the lines and sign it so hard you’re sure you’re digging into the desk with the pen tip.

Once the papers are all done, he sees you off and reminds you to stretch, and come Wednesday morning, he wakes you up by repeatedly knocking, loudly, on your door just after sunrise. “Figlio! Wake up! It is time!” he calls through the door, and you grumble “I’m coming, I’m coming…” as you pull yourself out of bed. You don’t bother putting on the cassock, you just put on your binder and an old graphic tee, opening the door to look up at Copia, who is _also_ not in his cassock. He’s in a suit, which in itself wasn’t odd, but it wasn’t any of the three you’d seen. It was a pinstripe, charcoal… it honestly looked like something a groom would wear, just… anyone at a wedding, or fancy event. 

You rub your eyes and look at him again, groggily asking “What’s with the suit…?”

“I had to dress nicely to escort my son to his most important appointment! Even if he is not well dressed himself.” he says, holding his arm out to you. You slip yours through it and grumble “You’re weird sometimes, dad..”

He leads you through the halls to the room the doctor had set up in, and find a few other, also tired looking Siblings of Sin sitting around. Only one had managed to get all dressed up, the others were all in their pajamas, or plain clothes. He looks over the group of you and gives a happy sigh, murmuring “My children, becoming the people they truly should be! How wonderful… I am so proud!”

This is the first time the group he’d formed of his ‘children’ had been in the same place together, and you all just… awkwardly wave at each other. You’re all too tired to focus on the fact that you’re ‘related’, you just want to get this over with. You’re all hungry, the orders for the bloodwork stating to fast for twelve hours beforehand, and it looks like he’d dragged all of you from your beds to wait for the doctor.

A Ghoul leans their head out the door, and they call your name, to which Copia pats your arm and pulls you into the room. “Si, this is he!” he says, and you run a hand up through your hair, looking over the instruments in the room. The Ghoul points you to a chair and you sit down in it, watching as they pull your arm onto the weird little rest it has on the side.

“So, you’re here for a pre-testosterone blood test, hm?” the doctor asks, turning around to look at you. You nod in response, although all you get out of your mouth is a yawn, which you cover. But as soon as he turns around with needle in gloved hand, you finally wake up.

_You hate needles. Who doesn’t hate needles???_

Copia notices you stiffen, and he pulls over a stool to sit next to you, having pulled his arm out of yours when the Ghoul pulled you away. He holds a gloved hand out, and you take it with a death grip as you feel the doctor wipe down the inside of your elbow. Your head is turned as far in the other direction as it can be, and you hear Copia murmur “Hey, look at me, figlio.” 

Your eyes crack open, and he’s smiling as wide as he can, giving your hand a squeeze. “You’re going to be okay, piccoletto. Take a deep breath and keep your eyes on me, okay? It’s just a little pinch.”

As soon as he says those last words, you feel that pinch, and you _desperately_ try not to focus on it. Instead, you just look over Copia’s face, breathing as deeply as you possibly can as you try to find something on his face to look at, some imperfection to focus on. You find it at his hairline; a little… is that a rat pawprint, in his paint? It drags a laugh out of you, just a small one, and then you just zone out, imagining him prying a rat off of his hair, but not before it made its mark on his paint. 

Soon enough, you feel a sticky feeling on your other arm, and glance over to see the bandage on your skin. The doctor moves the vials of blood to the side and marks something down, looking between you and Copia. 

“Alright, young man. Go get yourself some breakfast, you’ve earned it. I’ll get this sent out as soon as I leave, and you’ll hear from me in a few days. After that, I’ll mail your script out here, is your father here going to help you do your shots, or would you prefer another method?” 

For your own sanity, you look over to the doctor and ask “I-Is there… another way to do it? I’m… not the biggest fan of needles...”

He nods, looking over the vials before he looks back to you. “They make a gel. It’s a bit more hassle than the shots. You have to rub it somewhere no one will touch, like your upper arm, your back… you can’t let it touch small children, animals, or anything that could be affected by excess testosterone. Whatever you choose, I’ll make sure to mark down so we can get you started faster.”

You sigh at the idea of having to keep that much attention on something, and figure that shots would be easier to help you get over your phobia. You clear your throat and return “I’ll... I’ll do the shots.” He nods, and jots something down along with your name before he waves you off. Copia leads you out, bracing you through your shaky steps. He looks over the rest of them and says “Do any of you need me there with you? He may faint…” The rest of the people look to each other and shake their heads, and Copia nods, murmuring his thanks as he helps you off to the kitchens to get you some food.

You get notification from a Ghoul later that day, you _think_ it’s the same one that worked with the doctor. Same size and all… they tell you your test results came back fine, and to expect your prescription to arrive within the next few days. You relay that to Copia, and you share a moment of happiness together as father and son. He sees you off, gives you the same reminders to stretch and breathe and eat as he always does.

You both spend the next four days bugging the mail Ghouls about your prescription, which earns Copia a whip from one of the Ghouls' tail, but they don’t harm you. They just growl and say _“I can’t make it come any quicker!”_ But the day it finally comes, Copia gets his hands on it before you even _see_ the mail Ghouls. He meets you at your door, having memorized your sleep schedule by now, considering he had to force you into a healthy one, and he’s glad to see that you were just laying around in your pajamas, considering what he needed to do. “Venire, venire figlio mio!” he sings, and you follow him out of your room, up to his office. “Sit, sit! Sit down, my son.” he urges, and watches you move to your usual spot. 

“Dad, you’re practically bouncing off the walls. What’s got you all riled up?” you ask, and you watch as he moves to pull the chair away from his desk and pull up a package that has your name on it. Your eyes widen and you smile ear to ear as you look up and ask “Is that it?!”

“Si!” he exclaims, his excited demeanor cooling as he takes a small knife and cuts open the box. He pulls out a package of alcohol wipes, a box of syringes and needles, and finally, a box that says _Testosterone vials_ in big black letters on every side, along with smaller print that’s not important to either you, or Copia.

He pulls a note out of the bottom of the box, reading over it carefully before he nods and murmurs “Si, si. Just as I remember.” He sets the note down and opens one of his desk drawers, removing his leather gloves in place for latex ones. He starts to prepare your injection, handing you the alcohol wipes. “Wipe off an area on your stomach for me, per favore? It is easiest to do them there.”

You nod and practically tear open the box, grabbing one of the little wipes and pulling up your shirt to sanitize your stomach. You’re not sure how big an area needs to be cleaned, so you end up basically wiping your whole torso, and by then, Copia kneels down in front of you, chuckling softly with the needle in one hand. 

“You did not need to clean your whole abdomen, silly.” he says, and you shrug, mumbling “Iunno what I’m doing here, that’s you!!”

One of his hands moves out to pinch the skin of your stomach, and he rests the bottom of his other hand on you, lining up the syringe before he looks up, asking “Are you ready? Do you need something else to look at, or…?”

You shake your head, and actually manage to _watch_ as he sticks the needle in and pushes the plunger down. He pulls it back out and caps the needle, setting the syringe on his desk. “Un momento.” he says softly, standing up and opening one of the cabinets along the wall. From it, he pulls out a bandage, and comes back to place it over the injection site. You aren’t paying much attention until it’s on you, and when you look down…   
  
“Dad, where in Satan’s name did you find _rat themed bandages?_ ” you ask with a laugh, watching him start to clean up after himself. 

“I have my sources! They must not be named. The masses do not need to know there are such wonderful things out there.” he replies, but you notice that he took off the latex gloves.. and then starts to unbutton his shirt. You watch him curiously as he disposes of the gloves he’d just worn for you, and puts another pair on. As he goes back to the cabinet, you see over his shoulder that his _own_ testosterone supplies are in there. You stay quiet for a second before you clear your throat and ask “Dad, did you put us on the same shot schedule…?”

He turns towards the window to use the light to his advantage, drawing up his own shot before he looks at you and nods, grinning. “Yes, yes I did. What is the saying… you kill two birds with one stone, eh?”

You sit there in silence for a moment, watching him do his shot and clean up before it hits you. 

You just got your first T shot.

You just got your first T shot… from your adoptive father.

You just got your first T shot… from your adoptive father… who wanted to do his shot with you.

The tears hit you like a freight train, a full on _sob_ leaving you as you bury your head in your hands. Copia’s head whips around to you as soon as he hears that, and he hustles over, kneeling down in front of you again.   
  
“What is the matter, figlio mio?” he asks, grabbing the tissues off the desk and setting them in your lap. He waits for your response, which takes a few minutes, and a few shoulder shaking sobs, but eventually, you pull one hand away from your face and whimper out “I-I… I love you, dad…” It’s all you can think, and he grins, standing up and pulling you up to pull you into a hug. He rubs your back and gently shushes you, shifting his weight from foot to foot, both of you rocking gently.

You cry your heart out into his shirt, having _never_ felt this kind of actual parental love in your life. Your own parents never thought that much of you as their child before you came out, and after you had, you were a burden on their shoulders. Copia _never_ held that energy towards you. He actually cared about you, worried about you… He watches as you pull your head back and rub at your face, and he says “Anch’io ti amo, figlio mio. I could not have asked for a better son.”

The hug falls apart, and he goes to yet another cabinet, pulling out a… a box of cupcakes? They look like they were made in the kitchens, considering they have Satanic symbols all over them, but one has a flat surface, with little icing words on it. He takes it out and hands it to you, taking one for himself.

You turn the cupcake around and read it, cocking a brow at the writing. _‘Happy birThday’._ Your eyes flick up to Copia, and you ask “Why’s the T uppercase in ‘birthday’?”

He lets out a chuckle as he pulls the paper wrapper off of his cupcake, replying “Because today, you started T! It’s a birthday, a testosterone birthday! I could not find any little candles, but… I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

You fight the urge to start crying again as you pull the wrapper off of the tiny cake, and smile up at the Cardinal as you say “Thanks, dad… you’re the best.”

“I do as a good father does, no? I will always do what is best for you.” he says, and you both bite into your cupcakes at the same time. 

It was a damn good little cupcake, too.


	3. Trans Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 - Copia helps you get top surgery!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CWs: surgery, anxiety about surgery, aftercare and vomit mentions!
> 
> This one’s gonna be time-skippy as hell because we know how long it takes to get a booby-ectomy

Another day, another testosterone shot done with your, now, _actually_ adoptive father. He had surprised you with the paperwork on your birthday, and you had been both extremely appreciative, and extremely confused. You were the only one of his ‘children’ he had offered to do this for, and you’ll always remember the way he explained it to you.

_“I saw the effects of your old methods of binding starting. You took strange breaths, you were always trying to rub some spot on your ribcage better, but it was never helping. I had to have corrective surgery after my years spent improperly binding my chest. I knew that if I helped you, even a bit, it may very well save your life. So many things about you remind me of myself, at your age, and the more I got to know you, the more I realized that you were more like myself than any of the others. None of them have leaned on me for a new father figure, only for momentary support. I am more of a validation object to them than a true father. But to you? To you, I am an actual father. I simply wanted to make that a legal standpoint, as well. Should anything happen to you further down the line, during a surgery or something else, I do not want them to contact your biological family. I am sure you feel the same.”_

He was right. He had done more for you in one year than your parents had in 18. He actually _cared_ about you, and you were happy to fill out the paperwork for him. You even changed your last name in the process to match his. As far as either of you knew, you were the only two Copia’s in the world. For now, at least.

He still insisted on giving you bandages for your shots, and you always accepted, occasionally getting a pride themed one in place of a rat patterned one, when he ran out. You had both just finished cleaning up, putting your used needles in his biohazard bin as he reached out to ruffle your hair. “You have gotten so much better with needles, figlio. I am proud!” he says with a smile. 

“Thanks, dad.” you laugh, fixing your hair. You had been on T for almost six months now. Your voice had dropped considerably, your frame had become a bit more masculine, and last month you finally started to grow a bit of facial hair! And it seemed that was what the Cardinal was focused on now.

“Are you sure we cannot teach you to shave yet? You look a mess.” His tone is joking as he rubs at your patchy little beard, and you bat his hand away playfully.

“I want to see how it first grows in! It might be ugly, but it’s mine! I grew it myself!” You share a laugh with him, and both move to your typical seats. The office grows silent for a moment, but eventually, Copia starts looking through his desk drawers, and you peer over the wooden surface, still unable to see what he was doing, but you’d know the rifling sound anywhere.

“Didja lose a rat again?” you ask with a snort, and his eyes flick up, the top half of his expression serious, but he can’t help the doofy grin he has stuck to his face. 

“I only lost Dolcezza in my drawers once, and that was because she wanted to have her babies in a dark place. They are all in my room, where they belong. I do not like having them around needles and medical supplies. Right now, I am looking for-- ah!” He pauses as he pulls out a wrapped, rectangular box which looked too big to fit into the drawer it came out of, but you wouldn’t be surprised by what he could fit into strange places.

He hands it to you over the desk, watching you carefully as you take it and look over it. It has your name written on it, surprisingly not wrapped in rat themed wrapping paper, but it is a very pretty floral pattern, red and black. “What is it?” you ask, looking up to him and holding it as if it would break if you moved the wrong way.

He notices your gentle grip and laughs, first saying “You can hold it firmer than that. It is not fragile. But it is something to celebrate your upcoming… half anniversary? Your six months on testosterone.” The elder’s eyes never leave you, watching you carefully unwrap the paper from the places it was taped. Under the paper is a box, and he watches you open it. Your eyes hit a stack of paperwork and you smirk, looking up at him with a near genuine expression.

“Paperwork! Just what I always wanted! You’re the best father ever!” you softly exclaim, laughing off your own joke. While Copia grins at the teasing, he points back down to the box. 

“Read the paperwork, ragazzo sciocco.” he chuckles, and watches your expression as your eyes move back down. You pull the papers out and set the box aside, reading over what looked like a boring informational pamphlet. It didn’t have a title, but as you flipped the page, you see what probably _should have_ been the front page.

_New Patient Information - Suntide Surgical Center - Consult Application._

The name of wherever this is from isn’t familiar, and you cast a suspicious look at the Cardinal as he hands you a pen. You start filling the form out, writing down your height, weight, blood type, cup size-- _Cup size?_   
  
You flip through the papers more, finding your answer two pages further in.

_After your new patient paperwork is received, we will schedule a video conference to see if you are eligible for our clinic. Should all go well, the date for your affirmation surgery will be scheduled, likely six months in advance of the consult call._

This was.... This was paperwork for _top surgery._

You look up to Copia and find him smiling, a glimmer in his eyes. You let out a wheeze, and realize you were holding your breath, sighing it out and asking “Why do you always surprise me with paperwork this way?” in the process. You sound genuinely exasperated and for a moment, he thinks you’re upset, but he’s learned to read you better than that by now. You shake your head a bit and laugh, rubbing your forehead. “Usually parents _talk_ to their kids about this…”

He shrugs softly, looking between you and the papers. “Well, considering you are my first, and likely only child, I am not sure what I am doing, but… this _will_ be the last time that I do it this way. Because with testosterone, and top surgery, there is only one real outcome. But if you decide to go for bottom surgery as well, that is much more preparation, much more to go over than ‘let’s switch what hormones you have in you’ or ‘let’s remove these things you obviously hate’. I would not risk something I am unsure of your wants for to make a gift of, or anything else.”

It falls silent between you, and you glance down at the wrapping paper on the floor, seeing writing on the inside of it. You pick it up and read it, a loud laugh leaving you once you did. “ _This way up for ‘teet yeet’ papers_ ? Dad, who the _fuck_ taught you that phrase?” You can see a bit of an embarrassed blush creep up under the paint as he sputters out a soft “One of the Siblings… mentioned that term.”   
  
You go back to filling out the paperwork, and once you’d finished, you hand it to Copia, watching as he places it into an envelope, sealing it and setting it on his desk. “I will get this mailed out once I see the mail Ghoul, figlio. I… apologize for doing it in this manner.”   
  
“Dad, no, I’m… I wasn’t actually mad or anything. I understand your confidence in getting it all started, you know I wanted to do it, and you wanted to make it an easier process. I appreciate it, a lot, it’s just… having such a big part of my life sprung on me with such little notice is shocking.” you explain, and he nods in understanding. You hold your arms out to him as you stand up, and he comes around his desk to give you a hug. You both squeeze the hell out of each other, and he ruffles your hair again, to which you groan out “Daaaaaad. I like my hair the way I have it, leave it aloooooooone.”   
  
Copia laughs as he steps back, hands smoothing over his suit jacket. “I am only trying to show affection to you, figlio. You do the same to me when I am not in my cassock! I am surprised you haven’t tried yet.” he says, and he ducks out of the way of one of your hands. “Ai! Do not ruin my paint! Or my hair!”   
  
“See? Ysee how annoying that is?” you laugh, and with another, shorter hug, you take your leave to get to your chores for the day. A few weeks later, you were called to his office for your consult call. It went well, and they set a date for you then and there. Eight months from now, you’d be left with a weight off of your chest for the rest of your life.

* * *

The next six months were filled with your weekly ritual with Copia, and a lot of anxiety. You actually kind of broke down in front of him once or twice in the throes of false doubts and the fear of what that meant. He talked you down, made sure you knew that everything was okay and that it was perfectly normal. You realized once the anxiety faded that he was right, and all was well.

Your surgery schedule worked out perfectly, although it meant you had to go on tour with the band. Your appointment was set for a three day stretch in California, they had three shows around the LA area, and the clinic you’d be at was in the center of all of them. The first two months of the tour, you just rocked out with everyone, enjoying being out of the abbey for the first time since you got there. But the week before your appointment, you were an anxious wreck. You stayed in the hotel rooms, watching the shows from the livestreams Copia had set up so you wouldn’t miss anything. He did his best to keep you relaxed once the shows were over, from doing arts and crafts to playing video games. 

Once the day had finally come, you were _still_ an anxious wreck, but you followed the prep guide you were given to the letter, and Copia was by your side the whole time. He waited in pre-op with you, and ruffled your hair one last time before they wheeled you back. You exchanged ‘ _Ti amo’_ ’s as you were taken for surgery, and he waited anxiously the whole time in the waiting room. Two and a half hours later, your surgeon came out to call him back to recovery, and he followed him as quickly as he could.

You were absolutely out of it, gazing around the room, eyes blurred and mind fuzzy, but you recognized your father as soon as he walked in, and you wanted to hold your hands out to him, but the nurse at your side made an angry sound once your hands even twitched. So you let out a “Daaaaaaaaaaad....”

“Si, figlio, it’s me. It’s dad.” he says softly, pulling up a chair and looking over you. He takes your hand and you notice that, for once, he’s not wearing gloves. You squeeze his hand and make a face, letting out a laugh.  
  
“Your hands are nakeeeedddd….” you drone, and he gives a breathless laugh, murmuring “I did not want to risk carrying… excess bacteria. How do you feel?”

You look down at yourself as best as you can, and you see the large surgical binder wrapped around you. Your eyes flicker to Copia, and back, and to Copia before you whisper “Did they steal my tiddies?”

The elder man laughs, louder than he means to, and brings his free hand up to cover his mouth as he quiets himself. “Yes, figlio mio, they… they ‘stole your tiddies’.” he replies, and watches an adorable grin spread over your face.  
  
“Then I’m fuckin greeeeeeaattttt…” you slur, and the surgeon comes around again, holding a clipboard.

“Ah… Copia’s? That’s you two, right?” he asks, and gets a nod from the Cardinal, and a drawn out “Yeeeeeeeeeep…” from you. He snickers and flips through the papers, recognizing the name after a moment.   
  
“Zilio… Zilio Copia, I remember that name.” he says, and Copia perks up, cocking an eyebrow.   
  
“You were not my surgeon.” he comments, and the surgeon shakes his head. 

“No, no, my old mentor was. That, and… yknow. Your music is a personal favorite for when I’m operating.” Now _that_ earns a laugh, and Copia grins.

“It is… almost calming, to know my child was being operated on while my music was playing. It was like I was with him, in a way.” he says, and both you _and_ the surgeon let out an “Awwww.”

* * *

Soon enough you were free to go, and Copia helps you back to the hotel room. He can only stay for so long before he has to leave for the ritual, though... he doesn’t leave you alone. As risky as it was, he summons a Ghoul to keep you company and keep an eye on you. He gives them strict instructions, and they wave him off. He had once again set up a livestream for the ritual, and you watched it as best as you could. You dozed off once or twice, but eventually, you hear the hotel room door open, and before you can even get your eyes open all the way, Copia is at the foot of your bed, looking over to the Ghoul as you start to wake up.  
  
“How is he?” he asks, and the Ghoul shrugs.   
  
“He slept on and off through the ritual. Ate a burrito that room service brought. I emptied the drains about an hour ago, and got him to take his pain medication. And right now--”   
  
“Stop talkin’bout me like I’m not heeeeeere.” you groan, and Copia moves to sit on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on top of yours.

“I’m sorry, figlio.” he says, his voice rough as he speaks. Worn out from singing for hours. He gestures to the Ghoul, who rolls their eyes and grabs a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. 

“Words work just as well, yknow.” they mumble, opening and handing the bottle to him. He takes a sip out of it and murmurs “I’m sorry, I.. All I could think about was how he was doing.”

“You’re a worrywart, dad.. ‘M fine.” You give a yawn and shift a bit, and then you realize that this is the most worked up you’d ever seen your dad. Off stage, at least… _negatively_ worked up, he… he looked like he was going to throw up. He chugs down the bottle of water in seconds, and then tries to take deep breaths to calm himself.

“Hey, hey, dad.. Dad lookame.” you slur your words a bit, but he looks at you nonetheless, trying to hide just how fucking worked up he was. He’d worried himself into a panic at some point that something was going to go wrong while he was gone, and it was only just now hitting him, now that he had no distractions. “Dad. I’m fine.”

He simply nods at that, and takes deep breaths as he looks at you, slowly calming himself down as he looks over you, seeing that you’re still _alive_ and _healthy_ and _nothing went wrong._ After a few silent minutes, he breathes out a soft “I’m sorry… I… I had a complication with my own surgery, all I could think about was that happening to you… it just hit me all at once once the ritual was over.”

“‘S’okay, dad… you had a bad experience, aaaand I just went through the same… same thing that caused it.” you’re half asleep as you’re talking, and you just settle back down into bed, waving at Copia and the Ghoul before you laugh out “A’ight, go back to talkin’bout me like I’m not even heeeere… ‘m sleepy.”

“Goodnight, figlio mio.” Copia murmurs, pulling your blanket up over you and ushering the Ghoul to go spend the night in one of the other Ghouls’ rooms. He gets himself ready for bed as quietly as possible, and you repeat this act through the next few weeks of the tour.

But as soon as you’re able to move around enough to be allowed to attend a ritual, Copia decides that it’s time to come clean. Just as he was supposed to say his goodbyes, he whistles to the crowd, and calls “Silenzio! Quiet, all. I have an announcement to make to my adoring masses, but first… I would like to introduce someone.”  
  
He turns towards the area just off stage and waves to you, and you freeze, eyes wide as dinnerplates. He.. He wants to introduce you to the crowd??? You… you slowly step out and then hustle over to his side, watching him wrap an arm around your back.   
  
“Sinners, worshipers, Siblings of Sin! I would love for you to meet my son. Show Brother Copia how you welcome a member of your Cardinal’s family!” he shouts, and the crowd roars to life again. Copia leads you through a bow, although it does not go too far down. He pulls the microphone away from himself to ask “Is it okay if I tell them? About both you, and myself?”

You pause, but give a nod, wrapping your arm around his back as he did yours. “If you’re going to come out, I’d be glad to do it beside you.” you say, and he calls for the audience to quiet again.

“My son came along with us during this tour to take a new step in his life. The night of our first show in California, he was recovering from top surgery.” he starts, and at that, a wave of praise comes from the mass of people below you. He has to silence them once more, and he turns to the Ghouls, stating “Cirrus, Cumulus. Bring it for me.”

The two grab at a box under Cumulus’ keyboard, and they carry it down to the Cardinal. He removes his arm from you and takes one side of the box, gesturing for you to take the other. You open the box and see that his trans flag is resting inside, and you look to him with a passion in your eyes that he matches. 

You both reach in, but you bring your free hand to hold the bottom of the box, waiting until he gives the signal.

“He had the ability to take that step in his life thanks to every one of you who comes to these rituals, but he credits the courage… to his old man. Inside this box is something I was given years ago, when I first found that there were people out there like my son… and like myself. Siblings of Sin, ten years ago on this day, I had the same procedure done, that my son did.”

He nods, and you drop the box, spreading out his worn, dulled flag for the crowd to see. They _EXPLODE_ into cheers, and Copia holds the flag as high as you’re allowed to move your arm, calling into the mic “My name is Cardinal Zilio Copia! And I am a _PROUD TRANSGENDER MAN!_ ”

You two revel in the supportive cheers from the crowd, and you and your father bow before them again, before being joined by the other Ghouls for the final bow.

Copia looks to the crowd one last time, and you release the flag so he can raise it as high as he can, starting to pump his fist into the air as he starts a chant.

_“TRANS PRIDE! TRANS PRIDE! TRANS PRIDE!”_

You can still hear the echoes as the tour bus pulls away to the hotel.


	4. No More Surprises.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 - Bottom surgery time, and everything that comes with it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: surgery, anxiety, minor blood mention, basically the same things as last time, pretty much! 
> 
> I didn’t go into too much detail about whatever option was picked so you can have a more personal experience with all this, but Copia talks about the way he picked (full on phallo with a forearm graft) so you can decide what’s what for you!

It had been about a year since you’d gotten top surgery. Another short tour, and the reaction to Copia coming out… it went amazingly well, and you both were very proud of each other. But the time finally came when you wanted to talk about the next step in all this; bottom surgery. And while talking about your dad’s penis wasn’t the most _pleasant_ thing to think about, you didn’t know anyone else who’d gotten it done, and there was only so much research you could do online.

You know by now you didn’t have to knock on his office door, but you still do every time you enter, mostly just so you don’t scare him. Dad was… easy to scare. He peeked around his desk to see who was coming in, and grinned when he saw you.

“Buongiorno, figlio mio!” he calls, and you hear a skittering sound that shows he’s got at least _one_ rat with him in here.

“Buongiorno, papà!” you reply, and the smile on his face only grows. He _loved_ that you’d learned Italian to feel closer to him, and was impressed at how quickly you got close to fluency. 

Copia watches as you sit down, and to no one’s surprise, the rat you’d heard skittering crawls up your cassock and into your lap. It was one of his newer babies, and it takes you a moment to remember which one. 

“Good morning, Glassa! Is it just you here, or do you have your sisters as well?” you ask, glancing up to the Cardinal, who shakes his head. 

“Glassa needed some time by herself, or so I thought. She played hurt to get me to bring her, but as soon as I set her down, like a wild animal she was. Jumping and running! Stealing tissues from the box and trying to make a bed in my drawer.” he explains, which brings a laugh from you. “But I doubt you came to me to talk about the little one, hm? What seems to be on your mind?”

You sigh a bit and shift in your seat, a habit Copia had picked up on ages ago as a way to show whatever thought it was, was important. He stays quiet, though, and watches you until you work up the nerve to speak.

After you run a hand through your hair, you clear your throat and look up from the rat in your lap, who was working her way up to your shoulder. “I, um… wanted to talk about bottom surgery.” you start, and shift again before you add “You’re… the only person I know who had it, and I know talking about it with your kid might be weird--”  
  
“Shh.” he cuts in, and you finally look at him, watching as the wheels turn in his head. “For this conversation, we do not have to think, ‘He is my father and I am his son, this is inappropriate.’ We can talk about this like adults, from someone who knows, to someone who wants to know, si? Do not… think of it as ‘Oh, this is my father’s penis’, no, this is a medical procedure. As plain as if we were to talk about the top half. Breasts or no breasts, vagina or penis, we… We do not have to make this as weird as the human mind wants.” 

You are _incredibly_ grateful that he’s able to separate what you struggle with, and considering you have no idea what his results were, or anyone _else’s_ for that matter, it’s not like you had a mental image of anything… You sigh out a soft “Thank you…” before you glance down as he starts to pull up the sleeve of his suit.

“The way I chose, was the, eh… fff…. Phalloplasty. They take a graft from your forearm and use that to create your penis.” he starts, showing off the scar from the graft, which was actually _barely_ noticeable, at this point. It looked like he took very good care of it… the skin in that area just shifted a bit differently as he turned it, and you could still see the border of the area. “It is a much more extensive process than if they just use what growth you had from testosterone, and there are many options you can do with it. You can choose to simply… have it, and not use it, you can have them put in an… implant, and then you can use it sexually if you please… it is all up to personal choice.” 

You listen to his words like they’re the only sound in the world, nodding along with them as he spoke. He pauses to see if you have any questions before he continues, pulling his sleeve back down and making sure his suit still looked neat.

“You can tell me to shut up if this gets too personal, but I chose to be able to use it for every function one can use their penis for. With that, they put a rod in, and insert a little pump in the area of the testicles, and you just.. Pump it, and it gets erect. And you can use it for whatever you choose. But before you can even get the surgery, most places require you to have the… internals, removed, the, uh… what is the word? I can only think it in Italian. Isterectomia.”

“Hysterectomy.” you say, and he nods. “I figured I’d have to have that done first…”

He shrugs softly, commenting “At least no more period, hm? Well. Testosterone also does that, at least... it did in my case.”

“Lucky.” you groan, glancing at the rat that was trying to climb into your hair. You pull her down and set her on the desk, watching her angrily hop over to the Cardinal and jump onto him. You still had an on-and-off cycle, so the idea of a hysterectomy was appealing in the first place.

Copia lets Glassa find her home in his pocket before he clears his throat and shuffles some papers around on his desk. “My information is outdated by half a decade, but I do not believe much has changed. I will do some research for you, figlio, and let you know what I find. If I only find that it’s still the same, do you want me to start looking for a surgeon to perform the… hysterectomy?”   
  
After a moment to think, you nod and reply “Yeah, might as well get one of my problems out of the way… even if I don’t end up getting any bottom surgery done, I still don’t want anything to do with that shit.”

* * *

Three weeks passed, and you were on your way up to Copia’s office for your shots when you hear talking from inside his office. You hadn’t seen anyone else come up here at all, but you knock on the door and enter silently, seeing Copia sat at his desk with a _laptop_ , and a very impatient looking Ghoul.

“Ah, so we speak of the devil, and he arrives! Figlio, venire, per favore.” he says, waving you over to stand over his shoulder. There’s a woman in scrubs on the screen, and you cock an eyebrow, but realize it’s a video call and wave, giving a quiet “Hello.”

 _“Oh! Hello! You must be Zilio’s son.”_ she says, and you almost cringe at hearing your dad’s first name. You and he nod at the same time, and he looks up to you for a moment before looking back to the screen.

“Si, he is! Figlio, this is a surgeon just outside of town. I was asking her about the process for what you need done! She said her schedule is free around, eh.. When was it?” he chuckles a bit, as does she before she speaks.

 _“Next month I have a lot of openings for surgery dates. Whatever day you’d like, I can fit you in!”_ she says, and you laugh a bit. She and Copia look at you expectantly for a moment before you shrug and glance to Copia’s calendar. 

“How about, uh… the 17th?” you ask, and the surgeon looks over a paper in front of her before she nods. 

_“I’m open all day on the 17th. How about we get you in for the morning? 9am?”_

You nod, leaning down a bit before you reply. “That sounds fine!”

 _“Perfect, I’ll get you set up for a consult and mail the new patient forms tomorrow. I’ll be seeing youuuuu….. We can do the consult meeting next Thursday at… noon.”_ she says, and both she and Copia write that down, along with the date of your surgery. You say your goodbyes and look down to your father, patting his hair. 

“I thought you were done surprising me with surgery dates.” you laugh, and he bats your hand away, turning around in his chair.

 _“She_ is the one who surprised me! I was only calling for information about the surgery, and she told me if someone needed the surgery done, she had time to spare!” he laughs, standing up and patting you on the head as you’d done him. The Ghoul to the side of the desk takes the laptop and leaves with it, leaving you two alone.

You two do your shots together, _able to do them yourself by now_ , and talk a bit more about the surgery and what it, and the future, held. 

* * *

The consult appointment went perfectly, and your surgery date was tomorrow. You’d gotten checked in to stay overnight beforehand, just to make sure everything was okay. Copia never left your side, sleeping in the chair at your bedside once you had fallen asleep as well. 

You’re woken up two hours before surgery to do all the prepwork, and Copia gives you one last hug before you’re wheeled off to get started. He sits anxiously the whole time, waiting to hear that you’re in the recovery room. And once you were, he was led back to sit with you, getting the rundown from the nurse that brought him back as to what could be expected.

“He’ll be here for a day or two to make sure everything’s healing well, and then you can take him home. No heavy lifting or strenuous activity for four weeks, no sex for six. Keep him hydrated and fed and walking and he’ll be fine.” she says, watching his expression shift for a second. She glances at your chart and walks off, leaving him to wait for you to wake up.

Once you did, you felt a hand in yours and squeezed it, mumbling “Sei tu, papà?”

“Si, figlio. Sono qui.” he breathes, pulling the chair closer to the bed. “I’m here.” he repeats, watching you crack open your eyes to look around.

“Iunno if I’ll ever get… get used to you not wearing gloves after surgeries…” you slur with a laugh, and he chuckles as well.

“Well, you should only have one more time to deal with it, hm?” he says softly, watching your other hand come up to rub at your face. 

With a nod, you suck in a breath and look around the room, asking “How long does it… take until I can get the other one?”

Copia thinks for a second, having to remember from his own procedures. “Eight weeks is suggested, I believe. To fully heal. But we can take as much time as you want to find a surgeon who knows what they’re doing.” he explains, and you nod sleepily. 

Your two day stay in the hospital is uneventful, and it pains Copia to leave your side for even a second, but he has calls to take, business to attend to, and he has to take care of himself. 

Soon enough, you’re back at the abbey, taking daily walks with the Cardinal around the grounds to ensure you aren’t forming any blood clots. You don’t feel right in thinking about bottom surgery for a while afterwards, nearly three months after you’d healed. Something just… kept you from wanting to think about it. He told you that it was normal to overthink this kind of intense change, and to be worried you would hate it. He had gone through the same things himself.

But eventually, you go to his office after lunch, finding him with four rats on his desk, and one on each shoulder. The _sound_ that leaves you at the sight startles Copia more than it does the rats, but he chitters to them, watching them skitter off to the open cage in the corner of the room. 

“Sorry to interrupt Rodent Mass, your unholiness.” you laugh, and he snorts, asking “What brings you here, figlio?”

You plop down in your typical spot after making sure there were no rats there, and let out a half anxious, half happy sigh. “I’m ready.” you tell him, and his face lights up.

He picks up the phone at his desk, tapping a few numbers into it and flinching at the angry voice that picked up. You can hear the Ghoul snapping at him, and he snaps right back.

“Stop taking an attitude with me! I am your Cardinal, for Lucifer’s sake. I-- I _will_ send you back from where you came! Just bring me a damned computer!” he shouts, slamming the phone down and rubbing his temples. “Ai. Damned Ghouls.”

Five minutes pass with idle conversation before a Ghoul basically busts down the door, although they close it softly behind them. They’re silent as they set the laptop in front of Copia, and gets it all started for him.

“I am not a child, I know how to--”  
 _“Shh.”  
_ “Well!”

You snort at the short interaction, but Copia pulls up the list he’d made of surgeons that had varying degrees of specialty, at the very top was one that Copia had put little symbols around, and a note that said _‘This one is amazing!’_

“Who’s the one that you seem to be so excited about?” you ask, and he immediately pulls up her website. He’d learned how to use computers pretty well in the last year or so, thanks to your help, as well as some Ghouls.

He scrolls through the website and finds the page he was looking for, going through some text and some pictures before he says “She does every type that you could want, with any form of implants you’d like, and her results are _fantastic._ She is my own surgeon’s granddaughter, you know!”

“She’s also in Washington state, dad.” you say, looking at the address of the clinic. 

“And the last ritual of the next tour is in Washington state! I can pull strings and get things to line up, if that’s what you want, figlio.” He seemed so excited for you, and it warmed your heart, pushed aside some of your anxiety.

After looking over the pictures again, you nod and laugh out “Alright, alright. Get it set up, let me know if it doesn’t work out.” 

You find your way out of his office, off to do your chores for the day. You had a bit of leeway, considering you were the Cardinal’s son, but you still liked having a routine to your day.

* * *

You had been on the road for months, now, figuring you might as well ride along for the whole thing to enjoy it while you could. You and Copia would be staying in Washington for a while after your surgery while the rest of the band went back to the Abbey after the tour ended, to make sure everything was healing right, and you could get anything else that you could need done by the same surgeon. 

Touring was always something you enjoyed, while you didn’t have a lot of time to play tourist, you enjoyed seeing the look on your dad’s face as you brought back some souvenirs from random places you stopped. He had a collection in his office, just as you did in your dorm. It was a sweet thought, one you enjoyed thinking about. You loved having a parent who actually cared about you… it was the first time you’d ever felt loved.

Along this tour, your father was even crowned the new Papa! You.. weren’t clear on how Nihil died, figuring it was… overexertion from playing the saxophone while you were on oxygen, and… basically also on death’s door. What you _didn’t_ know, was that the now-Papa was already planning on how to fill his former position.

As you jammed out backstage to the last song of the night, you saw Dewdrop waving at you, and at first, you waved back, but then he stomped and pointed outwards, and you hopped off the instrument case you’d been sitting on to come out on stage. The crowds recognized you by now, and a few at the front even started to call your name as you came to stand next to Copia, but you were entirely confused as to what was happening. 

At first, it seemed like they just pulled you out for the final bow, but Copia waved the audience to silence, and you looked to him, absolutely confused out of your mind.

“I know that some will claim this move of mine is a flaw, that I will be biased to make this choice, as Papa the Fourth. But to those who doubt me? You do not know what this young man has done for me. I would not be standing here without him.” he says, briefly wrapping an arm around you before a group of Sisters of Sin came out in a line, and… _wait a minute. This…_

They surrounded you in an instant, and just like they had done for your father, they helped you into…

Into his red cassock. Or… _a_ red cassock. You weren’t sure. You could hear _something_ being said, but over the crowd’s cheers and everything else going on. Your dad was explaining his thoughts to the crowd, about how he would need a Cardinal of his own, and there was no one more fit for the job than you. Soon enough, you’re freed of the pit of Sisters, and Copia moves to your side, taking your hand and raising it up.

“Show some love for Cardinal Copia the Second!” he shouts into the mic, and everyone roared to life yet again. Honestly, you’re just glad he didn’t tell them you’re getting a dick tomorrow… but you _do_ kind of wish you’d… known you were being promoted. You barely even qualified for this, although who was going to say anything?

Your mind was a blur as you were led into the tour bus, and back to the hotel. You changed back into normal clothes before you turned to him and asked “What the hell was that?”

For a moment, he thinks you’re mad, but he takes a moment to look over your body language, and your expression, before he shrugs. “I thought it was only fitting to make you my Cardinal, figlio. The person who would have gotten the position looks at me funny. She makes me… very uncomfortable.”

“I don’t have the.. The qualifications for this!” You’re not mad, but you’re _still_ confused, and you sit down on the bed, laughing a bit as you ask “What use is a Cardinal who can’t do a damn thing for his first three months?”

“What use is a Papa who is not in his church? I am not leaving you while you recover. Trust me, being a Cardinal will be easy work under me. You will just sort my paperwork, recite your prayers… things you already do, si?”

You… can’t argue with that. Plus, he could hold your hand through the whole learning process. You shrug as you say “Alright, alright… thank you, papa.”

“There is no need to thank me, figlio. Get some rest, you have a very big day tomorrow!” he says, seeing himself off to get out of his suit and settle into bed.

The next morning, you and Copia see the Ghouls off, and he hurries you over to the clinic. The surgery is a long one, and he paces the entire time, almost fainting when he finally sees your surgeon come out.

“Zilio!” she calls, grinning as he comes up and clings to her shoulders. “Still as anxious as ever, I see.”

“I have good reason, no? My son is everything to me… I worry myself sick over him enough at home… surgeries--”

“I know, hun, I know. He did _great._ Didn’t even bleed all that much! We’re gonna keep him here overnight for observation just to be safe, but he should be good to go back to wherever y’all are staying, and we’ll keep in touch over the next couple weeks, huh? You said you were staying in the city until he heals?” She watches his expression as she speaks, and it fades from concerned to relieved in _seconds._

“Si, si, we are… Very nice hotel. Nice people there.” he pants, pulling his hands from her shoulders and shoving them in his pockets. “I apologize… he is truly my only family. I am all he has, as well.”

“So worrying yourself to death over him would kill the both of you. Just relax, Zilio. Come on. He’s in recovery, I’ll take you in.” she says, and she leads him back to the recovery area.

It takes a bit longer for you to wake up, and that worries the _hell_ out of Copia, but he sighs **heavily** once you wake up, and you groan, having had a mild nightmare while you were out.

“Figlio?” he asks softly, and your head snaps to him, tears coming to your eyes. You had dreamed that _something_ bad had happened to him, the events of your dream already gone from your mind, but all you knew is that he got hurt, and you were _so_ relieved to see he was okay.

“Papà..” you whine out, and he moves to take your hand, squeezing it tightly. “You’re okay…”

He tilts his head at you and says “Si, I… I haven’t left the clinic since we got here. I’ve been sitting here with you for… half an hour. I’m okay, caro...”

Copia reaches up to gently wipe away the few tears that streamed down your face as you looked at him. And after a moment, your tired, drugged up mind can’t help but ask the question you’d been thinking for as long as you’d known Copia.. Or at least, as long as you’d been his son.

“Am… am I a good kid, papà?” you mumble with a sniffle, and the look on his face melts to one of… near pain, that you even had to ask that question.

“Every day you are yourself, you make me proud, caro. I am so, _so_ happy to call myself your father… you are the best son I ever could have asked for. Every time I think of you and your journey to becoming who you were always meant to be, it brings me to tears… you are _so_ strong, and I love you more than I will ever be able to put into words. I never thought I would be a papà to more than just the rats… I never knew that I _wanted_ a child until I saw you hurting, figlio… and no matter what, I will _always_ be here for you.” He stands up after he speaks, leaning over the bed to hug you as best as he can.

You drape a heavy arm around him as best as you can, sniffling and whimpering as you push your face into his shoulder and cry a little more… and after he moves to sit back down, you wipe your eyes and try to think straight…

“I’ll… I’ll do my best to keep making you proud, papà… I’ll be the best Cardinal I can, and the best son I can…” you wheeze, and he takes your hand again, shaking his head.

“You do not even have to try, figlio mio. You are enough as you are, and I love you, always.”

“Ti voglio bene anche io, papà…”


End file.
